things were simpler when i was a little kid. i was never really stressed or upset and i didn't feel guilty when i read for two hours or ate chocolate before dinner. i also remember when i was younger that i seriously thought that a little man lived between my two ears. i could hear him walking the long hallway of my ear canal each night...thump thump thump thump. i thought of him as a mini janitor sometimes with a broom, sweeping up dust balls and wax bits that got in my ears. i remember thinking that the most important thing he did was pretty easy...he just monitored what was going on inside my head. it was a relief to know that someone was doing that cause then i didn't have to worry about it. i would even picture him walking around a corner after a long day and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel that he would walk towards. when he came to the light he would then stare out my ear and decide that he liked living simply in my head. sometimes i wanted to join him.

my dad was in med school and had a doctor kit so I made him look in on the little man every now and then to make sure he was ok and to see that things weren't getting too messy in there. i even remember the time i asked my pediatrician to be nice to the little man if he saw him because he was just doing his job.

i don't know when i stopped thinking about the little guy in my ear but eventually he just wasn't in my head anymore. i let more complicated things enter my life and became distracted with other important stuff. i realized too that my little man had probably never been there in the first place but i should have known that all along... it was kinda like the time i figured out who santa claus really was (he wrote exactly like my mother and even used her wrapping paper) or the time that i discovered my lost tooth in my mom's jewelery box. i was shocked for a bit and then i moved into a more realistic yet stressful mind set.

it wasn't until a few months back that i heard my little man again and all my childhood memories came rushing in like a flash flood in a canyon... (wow that is like a total metaphor!)

it all started when my love for earplugs grew to an insane level. since i have always had a hard time sleeping through the night i have discovered that earplugs are surprisingly helpful. i've tried a few different varieties like ones with strings attached (uh choking hazard) so you don't lose an earplug and ones that were funky colors or different shapes.

when my last pair eventually kicked the bucket i went cheap and bought a whole box of purple plugs. they worked for a bit but soon were hard and covered in wax (gross i know but it was only a small amount). i decided to continue on in cheapo mode and wash my earplugs with a little water and soap in my hand. it was a miracle. the plugs fit into my ear nice and snug and then expanded to block out most of the noise. i decided to have a nap and put the cleaner plugs to the test. as my head hit the pillow i heard a sound...thump thump thump thump. what was it? something so familiar about that sound...yes that was it! after all the complicated teenage days and even more complicated young adult years, my man was back! he was doing his rounds, checking on things and living plainly.

i got to thinking about how i missed the good old days when i was safe at home and my dad was my superhero, my mom was the best mom ever and my ear cleaning janitor was never bored. (and even though i was fully aware that the thumping in my ears was just my heartbeat, i just felt giddy). i was finally reminded how simple life can be. i realized that things could be that way too if i would just relax more. i shouldn't need to be stressed about every little thing which is how i usually am. i mean it's not very complicated. i just need to take a moment now and then to contemplate life, make goals, and listen to my heart(beat).