Making of a Modern Mother 2

I loved loved loved reading all your comments on the last post. I kinda laughed because personally when I feel... gassy...

it kinda hurts...

haha

and so I am hoping that this little bean is easier on my body.

In other news we also found out we are having a boy. Not sure how I really feel about it. I mean I am so grateful that I am having a baby finally and that he is healthy and growing right on schedule BUT I always always always thought I would have a girl first and I was more than prepared for
ribbons and curls and everything pink.
The introduction of slime and boogers is just gonna take a while. That's all I am gonna say...I will share our initial reactions in the next post.

But onto other subjects...

I am tired of looking like normal... I am so pregnant and still kinda sick but there is
still very little to show.
I am so not complaining;
just curious.

Here's where you come in again.
I am 19 weeks and still wearing most of my normal clothes.

When did you finally feel like you were showing?

I am getting anxious!!

The Making of a Modern Mother

So I have been thinking about this for a while...starting a little theme on the blog where I would ask questions or give my opinion and listen to what you readers had to say.

AND...

Since getting pregnant the only thing I am interested in is BABY and most of you know a lot about baby, I put two and two together and realized you were probably my best source of info.

I am super overwhelmed with everything and feel like I am missing so much.

I mean I didn't take a prenatal pill til month 3 because I was so barfy and then I freaked that my baby wouldn't have a spinal cord (imagine snake like creature with legs and arms)
The next worry was that I wasn't getting enough iron and I tried to figure out what source of food would give me iron besides drinking my own blood (like a cannibal vampire...?)
Slowly I figured some things out but I am so far from convinced that I know what is going on.

This is where you come in. I need you!

I posted on fb that I thought I was starting to feel a little baby move in my belly. I was hoping for comments on what it felt like for everyone the first time they felt 'movement' but after reading comments which were mostly jokes about gas and indigestion, I realized that was probably not the right outlet to get some serious info.

So here's your chance. Help me figure this whole thing out!

What did it feel like the first time you felt your little bean move?

The freak out that wasn't

During this crazy sick summer of visiting and vacationing, I had a birthday too. And for some reason I was totally fine with that. Usually I have a minor freak out about getting older and still not accomplishing my life's mission (which is yet to be determined) but this year I just accepted it. One year older...whatever.

Maybe it was because I was so excited to announce that I was pregnant. I did that on my birthday which kinda overshadowed the whole 29 year celebration (Yuck now that I think about it, 29 is a horrid number)
Or maybe I was so happy to go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner (since food was/is all I think about) and keep the meal down.

Either way I am now older and for my freak out this year I decided to chill and write down 29 things I want to happen in the next year.

1. Have a healthy, 10 finger/10 toes baby. Every now and then they mention the air quality of Portland on the news. With the radiation from Japan and the multiple fires close by I try to breath only when I have to.  Who knows what I could be sniffing...

2. Move home...not like mom and dad home but home to Southern Alberta where most of my friends and family are

3. Finish scrapbooks of Hawaii, our cruise and our honeymoon so I can focus on one for the baby bean

4. Catch a fish...I never ever have caught a real fish all on my own!

5.Watch Grayson graduate...so close yet so far

6. Learn to sew... confidently

7. Cry happy tears...I think my tears ducts are on vacation. Since being with child I have only cried once when my dearest friend Jill moved back to Idaho. Other than that, I am experiencing a drought.

8. Love more deeply...my hubs, my fam, my friends

9. Read less (gasp...did I just write that? Lately I read a book every three or four days while my laundry sits and the dishes pile up) I need to be more productive with my time

10. Be more productive with my time

11. Embrace cooking and the kitchen...we are friends but I thinks it's time to take that relationship to the next level

12. Journal more (blogging counts, right?)

13. Get a dream. People are always taking about fulfilling their dreams and la de da so I thought about that the other day and realized I have none. I mean I want to write a book and have a happy and eternal family and I would love to travel more but maybe I should dream about something more... whimsical.  Something like building a school for children in some far off forsaken place or kissing my hubs in the rain while watching the sunset in Rome. I will give this more thought...

14. Sing in the choir

15. Work on my self control (that is a never ending task)

16. Smile at strangers

17. Share the gospel with someone

18. Think less about myself and my loneliness and boredom

19. Judge less and forgive more

20. Instead of pinning for a best friend around here to play with and talk to everyday, become best friends with my hubby. I always feel like I need some female interaction in my life and I do but I don't think I give Grayson enough credit for being there for me ALL THE TIME (minus the barf fest)

21. Appreciate my husband more

22. Embrace house cleaning...ugh

23. Become a baby whisperer...mostly with my own child

24. Trust in the Lord more often

25. Gossip less (most of my gossip includes celebrities but I still need to work on it)

26. Start a real food storage and finish my 72 hour kits (it is kinda getting scary out there)

27. Have a tea party (hint hint Sara)

28. Procrastinate no longer...get my US citizenship so I can country hop whenever I want lol

29. Celebrate (really celebrate) 30 years old!

Whew! What a list. I am serious though. All these things and more will help me become the person I want to be and maybe get me closer to reaching my dreams (I think of some) and fulfilling my mission (it will come to me)

And to all my faithful followers thank you for a great year. I look forward to another (less sick and lazy) more productive year to come!!

What to expect...

I took a little break from blogging. I found out I was a little pregnant and I was sick sick with this little human bean growing inside me. While I was mostly disgusted with all things food, I developed a loathing for my little laptop too. I know that's weird but I even had to delete an app on my iPod because I played it when I was woozy and just looking at made me ill.

I am sorta feeling a little better so I decided to blog about what I have been through the last few months.

In no apparent order here is my list:

What to Expect When You're Expecting... if You're Me

The only liquid beverage that your system can handle is frozen strawberry lemonade


You now agree that water sucks! It really really sucks!

Morning Sickness begins at noon when your small breakfast makes an appearance in the bathroom sink (I could never quite make it to the toilet...)

Yogurt WILL curdle even if it only spends 30 minutes in your stomach

Your delicious bacon and tomato sandwich will come back up a few minutes later and clog the bathroom sink ( a trip to Target, Draino and strokes from your mother will help as you unclog the sink of bread chunks and tomato slime) too much info?

After the sink is finally clean you will throw up in the toilet (finally!) because the previous mess was just plain nasty

You won't sleep at night and your afternoon nap will disappear from your schedule

You tell your sister A that you are pregnant and she tells you to get away from her and never eat her left over Chinese food again (you may or may not have just thrown it up in the toilet with the door open...surprise!) congrats?

You lose 10 lbs. (which you have been trying to do for months) only to gain it back again and then some...

You are only like a day pregnant and you try to keep it a secret but the moment you tell people you have the stomach flu, they know (probably due to this post)

When you finally visit the OB/GYN your husband is so tickled pink excited watching the ultrasound that it might actually be ok if baby is a girl (cause it will be)

Your dad is so happy to be a pre papa that when he comes to visit he buys you an early extravagant expensive birthday gift and forces your siblings to pay up because they 'wanted to contribute' too. LOL thanks guys!
Your two best friends react very differently when you tell them the good news


You are hugely overwhelmed and majorly under prepared for this new step in life but this little growing gremlin is kinda freaking awesome too

Who knew?

Funny story.

Grayson and I have been in Portland for almost three years. His parents have visited, my mom has visited and my sister Sara has even put in her time here.
I set my sights on my dad and convinced him to come see us before Gray graduates and we move.
Call me crazy but I kinda remember planning to have my parents here over the Canada Day/Independence Day long weekend.
When I spoke to my mom a few weeks later to see if plans to visit had been finalized she told me they would be coming at the end of July.
Mmmm what? I honestly thought we had planned on the BEGINNING of July.
So I kinda complained and sorta whined.
My mom comforted me and said that my dad really wanted to be on Parliament Hill for July 1. (Think Washington DC on July 4...yup... big celebration, fireworks galore, huge party)
But my parents had been to Ottawa like a lot to visit my sisters out there and play.
So I maybe whined a little bit more.
My mom told me that they had never been there for Canada Day.
I complained and said I didn't care. I really wanted my parents to come see me!
(so I was having a diva moment...who doesn't?)
My mom tried to calm my silliness but I continued to tell her my heart was probably broken and I didn't think I could get over this kind of rejection...again.
(I say again because I am the oldest...enough explanation!)
Seriously frustrated now my mother told me to chill out. And then she told me something that made me laugh out loud and forget my disappointment.
The real reason my dad wanted to be in the capital for Canada Day was because...da da da
Prince William and Kate would be there!!

Bahaa I guess I can't compete with that golden couple!

Daddy Dearest

In honor of Father's Day, I just had to post this little memory of mine. My dad is THE best and works THE hardest and for the most part keeps ALL his promises.

There once was a little girl who was sweet and mostly kind and loved the best she could. She was the oldest child and being left to her own devices she often found herself daydreaming and imagining that she was a real princess. She dreamed big dreams and believed that good things happened to good little girls.
Her parents loved her and wanted her to be happy. The girl did not ask for much and was oblivious to the meager income that was brought into the home. She was satisfied with the few things she had and did not want for more.
Christmas each year brought excitement to her and not just for the presents she received but for the feeling she felt deep inside during that time of year. As she grew she learned more and played hard and tried to be the best she could be.

It happened one Christmas season while the little girl was watching TV. She saw a commercial for a special show that involved ice skating and dancing and princesses galore. Her eyes got bigger as she watched the twists and twirls and she sang along with songs she knew. She knew what she wanted this year for Christmas.
Icescapades!
She eagerly approached her dad and shared her big dream with him. He agreed that it was a grand idea and promised to look into it. He said it seemed very possible that Santa would grant the wish of the little child.
However, Christmas Day came and went that year and the little girl did not see the show. She worried a little but moved on to the new year and was looking forward to all things happy.
Again the next year, the little girl went to her father and mentioned the show and was again assured that she could go. Christmas came and the little girl grew excited but was again disappointed. She wondered much and her faith wavered a bit but she was a good little girl and kept her mouth shut.
The next year the girl spoke to her mother (thinking that maybe that would make a difference) and asked questions about Santa and learned of the naughty and nice list. She made a point of being extra kind and super good to ensure that she would get to go to the skating show. But like the previous two years there was no Icescapades under the tree. The girl's belief in Santa waned and her faith diminished. Seeing her disappointment, the child's father promised to take her to the show next year. Her dream was possible again and the girl was extra kind and extra good and may have hugged her dad a little more too. But once again the little girl did not go to the show. Her father promised that next year he would have time and for sure they would travel to the show. The little girl smiled a little but the doubt had set in and she was not as excited. And like she thought she did not go.
For the next few years the promises continued but were not fulfilled and the girl got older and believed less.
But then something happened. The not so little girl started to understand the world better. She also realized that her dad worked long, hard hours and tried to provide the best he could and so the little girl decided to be happy with what she did have. And although she never really forgot the show, her dreams changed and she grew some more and loved some more and actually turned into a well rounded young woman who believed in what mattered most:
Her dad had always loved her and still did.

Happy Father's Day Dad! You are the greatest dad for me...

PS Remember how you promised to take the whole family to Hawaii when I graduated high school? No worries...I'm over it! Bahahahaa!

Another One (or the last one) Bites the Dust!

So I learned a new term the other day that tickled me pink. I was roaming the internet and came across this abbreviation:

TTC
(Trying to Conceive)
I am sure most of you know what it means but seeing as I am a baby virgin I was quite impressed with the little phrase. And I decided then and there I would use it in a sentence. I mean it was so chic and cool....(or so I thought) and while I have made my desire for a child no secret, Grayson finally finally agreed (and I finally finally admitted that it felt right) to start TTC.

Back to the point... I had this convo with one of my friends:

Friend: So what have you been up to lately?
Me: Oh not much, just TTC
Friend: (blank stare) Whaaaa?

At the grocery store:
Clerk: Oh these are great prenatal vitamins. I would suggest getting this brand.
Me: Thanks! I hope they help while I am TTC
Clerk: (roll eyes) Whatev...

OK so maybe my lingo was not as nifty as I thought. Or maybe I am so outta touch with reality that no one has ever used TTC in a real life conversation. But really how was I to know?
All my friends (and I mean ALL) have had one, two, three, four, or yes even five kids while I have been going to school, dating for two years, getting married later and working. And while I have been traveling (Hawaii, Mexico, Beach, etc) my dear lovelies have been birthing and diapering and feeding their chickies. I am the last (and I mean LAST) that is TTC.

So maybe all those times I said I was ready, I was just really trying to fit in. And maybe now I really do want a baby so I can fit in. And maybe I am a little ( A LOT) lonely with the hubs in school full time and the friends in MOM mode full time.

Don't get me wrong...I am not TTC because I don't fit in with everyone and I think a baby will help to meet my social/emotional needs. (That's only like 5% of the reason)

I am TTC because first and foremost I want to be a mommy.

I also want to go to playgroup and actually bring a child with me. Heck I even want to HOST playgroup with my newly fashioned baby proof house!

I want my mom to be a grandma and my sibs to be aunts and uncles. I want to be the first to have a baby in my family because I am the oldest (and therefore got the least attention so having the first grandkid would put me back in the spotlight...but probably not lol)

I want to buy all the cutesie little girl (or boy) clothes that I eye at Target e v e r y d a y.

I want to get a lot better at sewing and cleaning and loving and cooking and caring.

And did I mention that I want to be a mom?
Cause I do!!

But the one thing that has really gotten me excited about TTC is that I can't wait to see this handsome guy...






as a daddy!!

( heaven help me)