Me? A Modern Mother...

It's official... I am pregnant. OK so you all know that but now my body is reminding me of it. The other day my back was killing...killing me. I don't think I have ever...ever experienced pain in that area and I was at a loss for what to do. I had just talked to my mom who had shocked me with some unexpected news that left me feeling like I was falling off the baby attention pedestal that I had situated myself on. Gray and I had also just spent the afternoon at Babies R Us realizing that everything is super expensive brand new and totally adorable to boot!! Needless to say I was kinda depressed. Long day, achy bones, pity party...you name it. I was feeling it. To top it off I decided to start cleaning the kitchen and dropped a can directly on my toe It was a small but heavy can. I was done. I burst into tears and leaned on the counter just sobbing. Poor Gray didn't know what to do. He sweetly started me a bath which has been my nightly tradition for a while and tried to help me feel better. I jumped into the tub only to have my feet scalded with the water which left me wailing all over again. And then I realized something. I was gasping for breath and really crying except there were no tears. What? I was quite positively having a fit. I was sobbing and hiccuping and jumping from foot to foot and I wasn't even producing a drop of moisture. What a joke. Even when I tried to squeeze some tears out I ended up just hurting my eyes. I came to one conclusion. Pregnancy had dried me out. I had a small mini cry when I found out I wasn't having a girl but that was just a squirt of water and didn't count!

I guess I am just looking for some aspect of my life that has remained the same and I can't find anything...

So I have been super achy for the last couple of weeks and have tried a bazillion stretches and back flips to relieve some of the pain. The sad thing is that this seems like a pain I can't stretch or adjust away. Mostly my hips are on fire but there also seems to be a giant gas bubble lodged in my stomach that just wants to chill. So between moaning on the floor and gulping fiber supplements I am pretty pathetic.

Gray is gone ALL DAY...all day (14 hours) and is always ready to party when he has time which my body does not exactly agree with. So we have been hanging out a lot at home which just encourages me to slowly freak out about everything baby.

We are actually quite the pair...baby and me. We sleep, we eat, we try to exercise and then we sleep again. In between we browse websites for boy names that we like (no luck) and try to find cheap deals and wheels (stroller) that are somewhat affordable. And then we cry fake crocodile tears because everything is so expensive.

So to make me more of a modern mother let me know what are the absolute essentials you need for a new born. What should I absolutely buy brand new (besides diapers) and what are some things that I can get used? I mean there is so much... clothes, blankets, pacifiers, bottles, swaddle wrap thingys, bouncy chair, bassinet, baby bed, stroller, car seat, shoes, breast pump, bottle warmer, diaper pail, rocking chair, swing... and that is just to start. So fill me in... I am kinda overwhelmed!

PS I do have a pic of me at like 21 weeks or so. I just forgot where I put the camera cord...and the camera!

Modern Mother 3: The freak out that WAS!

Are you getting bored with my mad focus on everything baby? I hope some of you don't feel alienated because you don't have kids. I promise...

I AM NOT IGNORING YOU!
Please comment and let me know what you think even in you don't have any children. I personally thought I was kind of a non-experienced expert and told people what I thought about everything so feel free to include yourself in any of these posts!!

I just have a bazillion questions and I love that all of you are so helpful and giving with your
Baby 101 info.

I am learning so much!
(Thanks!)
For example I have finally felt the baby move and surprisingly it does feel like some motion in my intestines (gassy) but it mostly feels like there is a brick in the pit of my stomach that's just in the way. When baby moves it feels like my stomach is rolling over. It doesn't make me sick or anything but it is a weird feeling and it is getting more and more frequent.

And it hit me just the other day (to my dismay) that the reason I am not totally showing is because of my already existing gut. Long story short, it started to grow during college and has kinda just stuck around. Some of my pants still fit because...
my gut still fits in them.
So I was just in denial.
Normally I look like a slightly pregnant woman...hahhaaa

Now onto other news. A week ago we found out the sex of our baby:

BOY

I was so weirded out by that info when I first heard it. The ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know and since I was bursting with excitement and pretty sure of myself, I about swallowed my tongue when she showed us the 'equipment'
She even used the technical terms (which I have never used frequently and am a little uncomfortable using now)
As I blushed deeply and told Gray 'Congrats Dad' I just felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Give me a chance to explain.
You see, I didn't even think it was genetically possible for me to have a boy first. I am the oldest of 5 kids, four of which are girls. On both my mom and dad's side, the first child has ALWAYS been a girl. My dad's parents have two (2) grandsons and seven (7) granddaughters...
My mom's parents have 7 grandsons and 12 granddaughters.
Boys are just highly unusual in my family so I was 100% convinced I was having a girl.
It didn't even cross my mind that I wouldn't have a girl first.
So I was in shock.
My mind had been full of DIY bows and headbands and ruffle butt skirts and pink and curls. To suddenly have to change those thoughts to frogs and robots and dinosaurs and camo and blue
was a bit overwhelming.
Not to mention the whole mechanics of a boy ( I have a deep fear of getting pee in my mouth...ahhhh)
So I had my cry and cuddled with Gray (who was very understanding although he was secretly rolling his eyes at me). I put on my big girl panties and starting thinking of little boy undies.
It may sound silly to you but I just was super unprepared for a boy...
mostly because the male population is slightly lacking in my family.

Good news though. It has been a week and I have come to terms with this little son (whoa that is the first time I have said that) growing inside me.
While it is true that I am unprepared for most baby things and boy parts, I am grateful to have a healthy little man doubling in size each week. It is a blessing to be pregnant and I am just gonna tuck my bows and curls back into my heart for the next child (dear me I can't have TWO boys)
And according to most of you
BOYS love their moms and are less dramatic. And there are a few cute clothes out there...although I have yet to find and purchase any.

In the end I am just happy with having a baby. It is going to be an adventure and a life changing event and no matter what I am kinda looking forward to it.

Now onto my weekly question. I am kinda lazy...ah I finally said it. I sleep in and eat junk most days. I try to fit in some exercise and fruits and veggies but I just don't love all that.

So enlighten me.

What kind of exercise did you do daily?
AND
What kind of food and snacks did you eat?

I am eagerly awaiting your motivational answers!!

(RIP Steve Jobs)

Making of a Modern Mother 2

I loved loved loved reading all your comments on the last post. I kinda laughed because personally when I feel... gassy...

it kinda hurts...

haha

and so I am hoping that this little bean is easier on my body.

In other news we also found out we are having a boy. Not sure how I really feel about it. I mean I am so grateful that I am having a baby finally and that he is healthy and growing right on schedule BUT I always always always thought I would have a girl first and I was more than prepared for
ribbons and curls and everything pink.
The introduction of slime and boogers is just gonna take a while. That's all I am gonna say...I will share our initial reactions in the next post.

But onto other subjects...

I am tired of looking like normal... I am so pregnant and still kinda sick but there is
still very little to show.
I am so not complaining;
just curious.

Here's where you come in again.
I am 19 weeks and still wearing most of my normal clothes.

When did you finally feel like you were showing?

I am getting anxious!!

The Making of a Modern Mother

So I have been thinking about this for a while...starting a little theme on the blog where I would ask questions or give my opinion and listen to what you readers had to say.

AND...

Since getting pregnant the only thing I am interested in is BABY and most of you know a lot about baby, I put two and two together and realized you were probably my best source of info.

I am super overwhelmed with everything and feel like I am missing so much.

I mean I didn't take a prenatal pill til month 3 because I was so barfy and then I freaked that my baby wouldn't have a spinal cord (imagine snake like creature with legs and arms)
The next worry was that I wasn't getting enough iron and I tried to figure out what source of food would give me iron besides drinking my own blood (like a cannibal vampire...?)
Slowly I figured some things out but I am so far from convinced that I know what is going on.

This is where you come in. I need you!

I posted on fb that I thought I was starting to feel a little baby move in my belly. I was hoping for comments on what it felt like for everyone the first time they felt 'movement' but after reading comments which were mostly jokes about gas and indigestion, I realized that was probably not the right outlet to get some serious info.

So here's your chance. Help me figure this whole thing out!

What did it feel like the first time you felt your little bean move?

The freak out that wasn't

During this crazy sick summer of visiting and vacationing, I had a birthday too. And for some reason I was totally fine with that. Usually I have a minor freak out about getting older and still not accomplishing my life's mission (which is yet to be determined) but this year I just accepted it. One year older...whatever.

Maybe it was because I was so excited to announce that I was pregnant. I did that on my birthday which kinda overshadowed the whole 29 year celebration (Yuck now that I think about it, 29 is a horrid number)
Or maybe I was so happy to go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner (since food was/is all I think about) and keep the meal down.

Either way I am now older and for my freak out this year I decided to chill and write down 29 things I want to happen in the next year.

1. Have a healthy, 10 finger/10 toes baby. Every now and then they mention the air quality of Portland on the news. With the radiation from Japan and the multiple fires close by I try to breath only when I have to.  Who knows what I could be sniffing...

2. Move home...not like mom and dad home but home to Southern Alberta where most of my friends and family are

3. Finish scrapbooks of Hawaii, our cruise and our honeymoon so I can focus on one for the baby bean

4. Catch a fish...I never ever have caught a real fish all on my own!

5.Watch Grayson graduate...so close yet so far

6. Learn to sew... confidently

7. Cry happy tears...I think my tears ducts are on vacation. Since being with child I have only cried once when my dearest friend Jill moved back to Idaho. Other than that, I am experiencing a drought.

8. Love more deeply...my hubs, my fam, my friends

9. Read less (gasp...did I just write that? Lately I read a book every three or four days while my laundry sits and the dishes pile up) I need to be more productive with my time

10. Be more productive with my time

11. Embrace cooking and the kitchen...we are friends but I thinks it's time to take that relationship to the next level

12. Journal more (blogging counts, right?)

13. Get a dream. People are always taking about fulfilling their dreams and la de da so I thought about that the other day and realized I have none. I mean I want to write a book and have a happy and eternal family and I would love to travel more but maybe I should dream about something more... whimsical.  Something like building a school for children in some far off forsaken place or kissing my hubs in the rain while watching the sunset in Rome. I will give this more thought...

14. Sing in the choir

15. Work on my self control (that is a never ending task)

16. Smile at strangers

17. Share the gospel with someone

18. Think less about myself and my loneliness and boredom

19. Judge less and forgive more

20. Instead of pinning for a best friend around here to play with and talk to everyday, become best friends with my hubby. I always feel like I need some female interaction in my life and I do but I don't think I give Grayson enough credit for being there for me ALL THE TIME (minus the barf fest)

21. Appreciate my husband more

22. Embrace house cleaning...ugh

23. Become a baby whisperer...mostly with my own child

24. Trust in the Lord more often

25. Gossip less (most of my gossip includes celebrities but I still need to work on it)

26. Start a real food storage and finish my 72 hour kits (it is kinda getting scary out there)

27. Have a tea party (hint hint Sara)

28. Procrastinate no longer...get my US citizenship so I can country hop whenever I want lol

29. Celebrate (really celebrate) 30 years old!

Whew! What a list. I am serious though. All these things and more will help me become the person I want to be and maybe get me closer to reaching my dreams (I think of some) and fulfilling my mission (it will come to me)

And to all my faithful followers thank you for a great year. I look forward to another (less sick and lazy) more productive year to come!!

What to expect...

I took a little break from blogging. I found out I was a little pregnant and I was sick sick with this little human bean growing inside me. While I was mostly disgusted with all things food, I developed a loathing for my little laptop too. I know that's weird but I even had to delete an app on my iPod because I played it when I was woozy and just looking at made me ill.

I am sorta feeling a little better so I decided to blog about what I have been through the last few months.

In no apparent order here is my list:

What to Expect When You're Expecting... if You're Me

The only liquid beverage that your system can handle is frozen strawberry lemonade


You now agree that water sucks! It really really sucks!

Morning Sickness begins at noon when your small breakfast makes an appearance in the bathroom sink (I could never quite make it to the toilet...)

Yogurt WILL curdle even if it only spends 30 minutes in your stomach

Your delicious bacon and tomato sandwich will come back up a few minutes later and clog the bathroom sink ( a trip to Target, Draino and strokes from your mother will help as you unclog the sink of bread chunks and tomato slime) too much info?

After the sink is finally clean you will throw up in the toilet (finally!) because the previous mess was just plain nasty

You won't sleep at night and your afternoon nap will disappear from your schedule

You tell your sister A that you are pregnant and she tells you to get away from her and never eat her left over Chinese food again (you may or may not have just thrown it up in the toilet with the door open...surprise!) congrats?

You lose 10 lbs. (which you have been trying to do for months) only to gain it back again and then some...

You are only like a day pregnant and you try to keep it a secret but the moment you tell people you have the stomach flu, they know (probably due to this post)

When you finally visit the OB/GYN your husband is so tickled pink excited watching the ultrasound that it might actually be ok if baby is a girl (cause it will be)

Your dad is so happy to be a pre papa that when he comes to visit he buys you an early extravagant expensive birthday gift and forces your siblings to pay up because they 'wanted to contribute' too. LOL thanks guys!
Your two best friends react very differently when you tell them the good news


You are hugely overwhelmed and majorly under prepared for this new step in life but this little growing gremlin is kinda freaking awesome too

Who knew?

Funny story.

Grayson and I have been in Portland for almost three years. His parents have visited, my mom has visited and my sister Sara has even put in her time here.
I set my sights on my dad and convinced him to come see us before Gray graduates and we move.
Call me crazy but I kinda remember planning to have my parents here over the Canada Day/Independence Day long weekend.
When I spoke to my mom a few weeks later to see if plans to visit had been finalized she told me they would be coming at the end of July.
Mmmm what? I honestly thought we had planned on the BEGINNING of July.
So I kinda complained and sorta whined.
My mom comforted me and said that my dad really wanted to be on Parliament Hill for July 1. (Think Washington DC on July 4...yup... big celebration, fireworks galore, huge party)
But my parents had been to Ottawa like a lot to visit my sisters out there and play.
So I maybe whined a little bit more.
My mom told me that they had never been there for Canada Day.
I complained and said I didn't care. I really wanted my parents to come see me!
(so I was having a diva moment...who doesn't?)
My mom tried to calm my silliness but I continued to tell her my heart was probably broken and I didn't think I could get over this kind of rejection...again.
(I say again because I am the oldest...enough explanation!)
Seriously frustrated now my mother told me to chill out. And then she told me something that made me laugh out loud and forget my disappointment.
The real reason my dad wanted to be in the capital for Canada Day was because...da da da
Prince William and Kate would be there!!

Bahaa I guess I can't compete with that golden couple!